good words.

“When I hear the words ‘strategic plan,’ it makes me want to throw up. You can worry about a pension when you’re 55. But if you worry about that now, you won’t have anything to look back on when you’re 55. Right now, do something crazy. Do something crazy so you have something to remember. You don’t choose love, you know. Love chooses you. Follow your heart sometimes. It’s great to think with your head, but you have to think with your heart too. That’s more important.”

Dr. Michael Leming, sociology professor at St. Olaf College, resident great guy.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I have an 8am. I am sometimes annoyed by that, but then I remember that I used to have an 8am every day of my life, and I remember to feel lucky. I also have a very entertaining 8am: Intro to Sociology, with Dr. Michael Leming. Leming looks like Santa Claus and, in fact, becomes Santa Claus during Christmas season. He and his wife save money to buy Christmas presents for the children who live in Northfield’s trailer park, and they go around handing them out every winter. Leming is currently in the beard-growing process. He spends half of his year teaching Sociology/ Anthropology at St. Olaf, and the other half living and teaching in Thailand. He loves Asian people, and takes pride in being able to tell them apart and tell them about their culture. In my class of about 25, there are three Asian international students (two from China and one from Korea), a Hmong from St. Paul, as well as a boy from the Bahamas and one from Israel. Leming is obsessed with all of them.

He also loves to remind us of how we are “all screwed” on a daily basis. And he is extremely passionate about the class differences in this country and this world, the shrinking middle class, the greed of a few, and the poverty of many. Today in class, we were talking about finding a mate, especially in the context of college. He likes to use specific examples, and today his choice was me. Here is our conversation.

Leming: How tall are you?

Me: Five ten.

Leming: Ha! You’re screwed! You’re a freshman, so this is the best you’re ever going to have it, because older boys will date younger girls but older girls won’t date younger boys. You’re down to 10% of the population as it is, and each year that shrinks and then you’ll have to meet some guy in a bar where it’s dark and he can’t see you and you’re wearing flats!

He has also informed me that I am four years away from unemployment and I will be moving back in with my parents.

After sociology, I went to my religion class. After some extensive talk about Jesus, in which I got very confused about whether Jesus really actually thought he was the Messiah or if he even ever said he was the Messiah, and learned some fancy new words like Anabaptist and eschatology, we started talking about Christianity (and spirituality in general) as a conversation, rather than as a set of beliefs. Then my religion professor said the following.

Schuurman: It’s a beautiful conversation. No matter how well you know someone, or for how long you’ve known something, there is always more to learn. For example, I’ve known my wife since I was five years old, and we’ve been married… let’s see… for thirty-seven years. And she still surprises me.

I was embarrassed, but tears sprang to my eyes before I even knew why. I didn’t actually cry, but I was so moved. On one level, I think he said something very important about human interaction with spirituality. And on another level that might be more basic, but which I think is equally important, he said something about love. He has known his wife since he was five years old. I don’t believe in soul mates or love at first sight, or only one right person for everybody, but I do think sometimes you just know. Sometimes there is just a higher power at work, something we could never put our fingers on as hard as we try, something that tells us “this is right.” There are some things we will never know. But there are some things that, though we can’t explain them, we just feel are right. To experience an absolute love, and absolute knowledge that that love is exactly perfect— whether romantic or otherwise!— is such an incredible, wonderful, beautiful thing.

My life is so privileged. I am unbelievably blessed. Lately, I have been struggling greatly with how I am going to use the wonderful gifts I have been given to make this horrible world a more beautiful world. There is is so much good. We just haven’t found the right ways to use it all yet. I am journaling and reflecting on what I can do to address the issue of poverty in this nation and in the world. I have yet to find the magic cure. But I know I will one day figure out one small way to fix one small piece of what is broken, and it will make a difference. 

After a Thanksgiving meal with the closest person I have to family here on this campus, I sat down to study. Now, I am off to play my first game of Dungeons and Dragons (what is that? I don’t know!) and have a butterbeer shake with a couple of my friends. My life has changed so much this past year— in some wonderful ways, and in some heartbreaking ways. I expect life will continue on its course in the same way. My job is to keep learning and to keep loving. Thank you, spirit, for today.

Is my life about to change? Who knows? Who cares?